With Your Hand

The future seems so uncertain
And yesterday is full of pain,
Tomorrow has a promise
But the past you’ll surely miss.

They say life should be lived
According not on what lies ahead,
Nor what sprawls behind shadows
Lurking in the river of sorrows.

But my dear, the past maybe painful
But at least you’re no longer there,
The future maybe hopeful
Yet for sure it’s nowhere near.

So embrace today’s challenges
And savor life’s privileges,
You don’t need to hurry
Take your time and always pray.

Your past may be full of failures
Your future quite unsure,
But God’s hands will guide you
And He will never let you go.

 

“I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory.” (Psalm 73:23)

 

Photo Credit: God is Real Today

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With hope for?

c19dabb3960a41af9db4a0c9ac96e32a

It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.

Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. And what’s worst than not having a proper closure is opening myself up to all of my readers and narrating a hypothetical conversation of me and my Ex having a closure. And during that time, doing so is like dreaming wide awake. It is like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.

But now, after a year of moving on and finding healing, I have grown to be a better person. Through the grace of God, I learn to accept that not having a closure is my version of a perfect closure. I have come into terms with my own heart and made it a point to let my brain rule my every decision again. Let’s just say that my heart has its shot on the decision-making of my life and it failed. Hahaha! My poor heart who has gotten itself broken was blamed for the pain it has gone through.

Looking back at it now, still I couldn’t construct a perfect narration of what could have been our closing and parting conversation. Being an introvert that I am, I would have lost all my words and would never be able to say a thing to him. I am always poor at face-to-face conversations. My heart would race and my mind would go overdrive with 200% processing yet my verbal skills is shut down. Therefore, allow me instead to rephrase the question to read: “What would you say to the person you feel like you never had closure with?”(I copied the question used by Mandy Hale in her Day 15 post.)

So, what would I say to him? I guess I would ask him a lot of questions. I think if I would have been given a chance for a face-to-face closure, I would have been very devastated. Maybe it is God’s way of saving me from more pain and bitterness. Because deep inside me, I really wanted to ask him if he really loved me. And his answer would surely break me. But so much for the fuss, here is what I wanted to say:

“During all those times that we’re together, do you really love me? Was there been an US or was it just “you” and “me”? Is the relationship that we had entered into, just for convenience? Because I feel like I was just a trophy girlfriend, a proof that you can do better, that by choosing me, you can prove to the world that you can make a better decision too. In all that you told me, which of those things are the truth? and where does all the lies start? Was there been someone else while our relationship has been shaky and starting to crumble to the ground? I am not worth fighting for? What was the real reason why you have to leave me? And why are you so scared to tell me face-to-face that it’s over?

“I hope you will eventually find someone who will love you for the rest of your life. I hope you will be able to have the complete family that you deserve. I hope you will use this second chance that God has given you to be better.”

Part of me still wanted to say it to him personally but I was never given a chance to do so. As I am writing these questions [as I was writing this last year], I feel a little braver and more ready to face the world again. Because for me, having the courage to ask is the first step on being able to face the ghosts that are hiding in my closet. There is always a risk in asking because there are answers that are too painful to accept and too difficult to believe. There are answers that are way too different that what I hoped to hear. But sometimes, there are questions that don’t need to be answered at all. There are questions that need to be asked just so we can release ourselves from the confusion that we are feeling at the moment. And lastly, there are questions that seemed to be addressed to him but in reality, are meant for me.

Those questions are left hanging in thin air. I never expected nor hoped for another chance to speak to him. For me everything’s under the bridge now. And saying those things will never change the reality that not having a closure is the only closure that I could get. I can never be able to go back in time to that moment of pain and confusion. And if I can, I will never want want to. I will choose not to. Because all those things, all those pains have molded me and shaped me into who I am now. As what Susan J. Elliot said, and I quote:

“You don’t need answers or explanations to find closure. No matter what the loss, the closure comes from inside you.”

– Susan J. Elliott

I am moving forward with the hope that one day, someday, in the future stories that God would write for, I will find the courage to say what I wanted to say and I will have the privilege to have the closure that I never get today.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love! ❤

Dawn 🙂


I want to encourage women to embrace their own uniqueness. Because just like a rose is beautiful, so is a sunflower, so is a peony. I mean, all flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.

– Miranda Kerr

Location: 10,000 Roses Cafe at Day-as, Cordova, Cebu

10,000 Roses

Love is a game of tic-tac-toe,

constantly waiting for the next X or O.

– Lang Leav

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Dream-Chasers are Dream-Catchers

I am working on my dreams. People might say I am so behind at my age but I believe achieving my dreams has no deadline, right? As long as I am able, I still have the chance to get it. There are times that I feel so low especially when I feel so left out. I browse through my social media accounts and all I see are photos of my friends getting married, traveling or having dinner at fine restaurants. And when I look at myself, I have nothing to boast about – I am single, jobless, and struggling to achieve a dream that seem so impossible to others.

People often ask me why I want it. I sometimes asked myself that too. I don’t have an exact answer. I cannot give a concrete response. Why do I really want to go back to Canada? I really don’t know. All I know is that God placed that desire in my heart and with that, I am holding onto the possibility of getting there in His perfect time. I am hoping that one day, I will be able to step on snowy streets, dance under the falling sakura flowers, play with golden maple leaves, and see the perfect sunset of Patricia Bay again. It may be surreal for some, impossible for many. But with a God who provides, why would I doubt?  

So if my dream of going to a place that’s 10,000 kilometers away from where I am now, why would you doubt about yours? Those dreams, if you keep working on it, will eventually come true. If your dream is getting a great job, beings successful, or buying that BMW or that beach house, or finding true love, never lose hope. As long as you’re working towards it, all your efforts are not in vain. God sees your heart. He hears all those unuttered prayers and silent sighs. He feels the heaviness and your weariness. But take heart. Be courageous. This is not just your battle. This is HIS. God is fighting alongside with you. So be still. Relax. Your dream is on it’s way to reality. If today your chasing your dream, believe that one day you’ll be catching it. 

Keep the faith!

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

To you who feels like giving up and is thinking about quitting – DON’T. 


To you who feels like giving up on that one dream: DON’T! You have to hold on a little bit more. Give yourself and your dream more time to materialize. You have to live on that day when you will be able to say to yourself, “I made it.” You have to believe that this long stretch of waiting and getting impatient is part of the process. You have to cling onto the hope that God has the best plans for you (Jer 29:11) and all He think about is for your greater good.


The waiting process is really tiring. Every night as you lay down in bed, a lot of questions have crossed your mind – debates about the right and wrong decisions we made, about creating backup plans and fallback tactics, about regretting bad choices and not following great advices from others. I know there is chaos inside you. I know there’s that voice telling you to stop pursuing your dream and settling for what or where you’re currently in.

But my friend, giving up and quitting is not for victors. God has created you to be a conqueror. He wants you to increase your territory, to expand your horizon. God promised you a bright future. He has placed that desire in your heart – a HOPE and He will see you through.

The waiting is painful because waiting is polishing. You are subjected to pain because only in extreme circumstances can true beauty emerges. Only in painful events will your heart be created pure and true – pureness of love for God and trueness of trust in His plans.

Just hold on, God is not through with you yet. Your dream of a bright future is also God’s dream for you. Let the Maker mold you. Allow Him to shape you. Let the waiting process be fruitful instead of painful. See beauty in all the bumps and pauses. Remember it’s NOT a dead end, only a detour, a traffic jam or a spare tire issue. You will eventually get there – In His perfect time.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love.

Dawn 🙂
PHOTO CREDIT: http://jootix.ir/77929/

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Thank-Living

15732253_10154511554452740_2714153387782870098_o

So long 2016! Bring it on 2017!!!

We popped the champaign, made a toast for 2016, and welcomed the new year with too much partying and merry-making. We’ve left it all behind – the pain, the failures, the dark parts of it, while we packed the fun stuff, the laughter, the successes we bagged, and fully armoured, we are marching on a new year.

We bid farewell to lost dreams, lost love, lost people. We shed every inch of connection to what was. We flipped to another page and picked up the pen with eagerness and enthusiasm in our hearts, hopeful and optimistic that this year would be better, paths brighter, and dreams bigger.

The closing of the old book and opening of the new one feels more surreal as the clock strikes twelve and as we clink our glass and greeted one another. Our hearts are burning with passion as we are given a fresh start, a clean slate, a new beginning. We feel invincible and more capable to conquer. The hype of the New Year comes with a blast like fireworks brightening up the sky.

But as the clock continues to turn so are our lives continue to move. Soon enough, party’s over. People are leaving and calling it a night. The remnants of the festivity was mopped out and thrown away and little did we know, we are back to the same messed up and depressing life that we have. And as New Year’s day draws to an end, the reality of the normal and less optimistic tomorrow looms ahead.

However, so much for all the negativity. Well, my negativity really. Like most people would want to achieve as the new year starts, all of us made new year’s resolutions we wanted to keep. I made some myself too. But this time, I keep it down to the basics. What I really wanted to share is something that I haven’t done before. I have this “Our Daily Bread” App in my phone. It has daily bible reflections and today talks about the most famous Psalm 23, God our Shepherd and He provides what we need. What struck me the most is the reflection and how a lady, wanting on becoming more thankful, made a Thanks-Living Jar. It is basically a jar with notes she made every night of the things she is thankful for the day.

I believe, more than anything else, being thankful is the attitude that we should develop this coming year. All the negativity and darkness seem to disappear when we learn to be thankful for the grace and provisions God continuous pour in our lives.

Today, I am thankful for the friendship and the bond that links us together. 2016 has been a very difficult year for me. But I wouldn’t be able to clink some glass of champagne this New Year’s Eve if not for friends and special people who have helped me keep everything together when I felt like all things are falling apart.

So what are you thankful for today? Before the first day of the 365 ends, think about it. And if you have some time, grab a pen and a paper and write it down. Put it in a jar or whatever container you want, and on the New Year’s Eve of 2018, pull them out and read all of them and surely you will realize that you are living in Thanksgiving.

If you’ll give it a try, leave a comment below.

Have a blast!

 

Stay in love! Stay in God’s Love!

Dawn 🙂

Photo Credit: 104.9 The River