I’ve been given the chance to feel love. I’ve had so much experiences, mostly hurtful, about this damn thing called LOVE. I am not perfect and definitely not a totally good person but I deserve to be happy, right? Everyone deserves to be happy. We all do. But why do we experience all these pains and heartbreak? Why do we have to cry ourselves to sleep? Why do we need to drown ourselves in music just to numb our feelings, tune out all these stupid thoughts and questions in our brain, zone out to that place of emotionlessness.
Music is my best friend and my dark room is my refuge. I really love being in the dark because no one sees me. No one sees the tears. No one knows my pain. No one hears my sob. In darkness there is solitude. But in darkness there is also loneliness. But music is there. And music keeps me company. These are the times when one song and only one song keeps on playing, on repeat. These are the times when I just want to drown myself with the music. Let the song speak for me coz I have no strength to voice out, to describe all the pains and hurts that are inside me. If only I am strong enough to leave these all behind. If only I have the strength to drop these baggages and focus on what’s ahead of me. And I know that in one way or another, we all have these stupid moments in our lives. Those moments of failed relationships and broken heart.
They say “letting go” is the best thing to do. Ideally that is the super “bestest” thing to do. But honestly? That is the most difficult thing to do. And I am no expert in this art of letting go. But let me give you some point on how to move on and get back on track because seriously, it’s your life and there’s no one but you who will decide what to do with it.
1. Realize that PAIN is all in the mind
So you are in pain. You are betrayed and cheated. He/She left you hanging in the air, like you were holding in a single-stringed balloon and suddenly POP! – the balloon burst and you came crashing to the ground. That totally hurts. But you see, there is no physical pain, the pain that you felt is all in the mind. Admit it, but its your ego that was trashed. You have thoughts like “I have done my best in this relationship” or “why is my best not enough for him” or the worst “what have done wrong?” Seriously? You are in pain right now because you keep on thinking that it was your fault. My dear, THAT PAIN is only in your mind. And the more you dwell on those thoughts about what could have gone wrong or was your best not enough, the more you pierce yourself with that knife you have in your hand. So, clear that mind and start seeing the brighter side of that break up!
2. Show some respect for yourself
You are in pain? YES. You know that pain is only in the mind? YES. But you don’t want to eat. You don’t want to get out of your room. You don’t even want to take a bath! Now that is too much. You’re already in too much emotional pain, why would you still subject yourself in more physical pain like ulcer, hang over, headache, and stink! What you have in this very difficult time of your life is yourself and YOU ought to give that self some of your respect and love. Remember, no one will love you if you don’t love yourself. But you will insist that you want to be alone, you want to disappear, that you want to die. Crap! That’s bull s#*t!! You will never be able to get your boyfriend/girlfriend back if you die. Simple! I know we need to cry over something that we lost, but doing that for more than a month is not healthy. So open that bedroom window, get a warm bath, put on your best clothes, and start living a life that you deserve.
3. Remember that Life is not just pure happiness
There is no need to expound on this. All I have to say is that, you should accept that you will never be able to experience total happiness while you are still alive. Pain, hurt, loss, being cheated, and betrayal are all part of living. So you were betrayed? Be thankful coz you are still alive. Period!
4. Learn from your past and grow
They say, good experiences make us happy while bad experiences make us strong. So you had a bad relationship. You’ve been through a very mind-blowing break up. Are you going to sulk? Are yo going to drown yourself in beer and wine? Will you let yourself stink and rot and die in your room? Think again. Everything happens for a reason. Yes, you are allowed to drink and mourn over the loss. You’ve been so down and lost but remember: THIS IS NOT THE END! As long as you are alive and you are breathing, life goes on. You may be hurt now but don’t let this stop you from living. There is so much to learn, so many places to explore, and so many fishes in the sea! So you are hurt. Fine! But you need to let it go for you to grow and become stronger and fiercer and bolder.
5. Reflect and pray
Sometimes, we feel so hurt that we question ourselves what have we done wrong. We ask ourselves why all these happen or what have we done in the past to deserve such misery. But sometimes, we couldn’t find any answer. Because honestly, there is no answer to those questions. Things happen because they ought to happen. It’s neither because you’ve done something nor this is your Karma. It is not because you have not given your best that is why your current relationship fail. We need to reflect over the past events in our lives not because we need to know where have we gone wrong but because we need to determine where God is leading us. Sometimes, relationships fail because God has better plans in our lives. Reflect on His words and let His embrace cover you in this dark moment of your life. The first four pointers will be useless if God won’t exist in our life. Pray for healing and let His love overflow in your heart.
So how can we master the art of letting go? It is by praying and believing that God’s mercy, love and grace will surely help us through the pain. Letting go will not be a piece of cake, it will never be easy. But with God, nothing is impossible. Let go and let God!
PHOTO CREDIT: http://bellawonder.com/2011/09/22/letting-go/