I wish I can pick out the memories I have with you and throw them away. I wish I will have selective amnesia and wipe out all the thoughts I have for you. I wish I could turn back time and I have never loved you. But all these are just wishful thinking, all these are hopeless wishes because I can never forget how you hold me. I can never erase the feeling of how you kissed me. And I can never turn back time and unlove you. For if that would have been possible, I could have done it the moment I realized that you have let me go.
I keep on telling myself that I will be alright. You said that I can be happy without you in my life. I believed it too for I thought I have been a strong woman. But ever since I met you, you torn down my walls. You broken down my shield. You showed me that life is more wonderful when I have someone to take care of me instead of me taking care of myself. You shattered my defenses and left me vulnerable and weak. You have broken me into pieces and I am grappling in the dark all by myself. You took away the smile that I have is my eyes and replaced it with tears. You stole the happiness in my heart and put bitterness and hate. You will never understand what you have put me through until you will go through the same kind of pain that I have gone through.
But one thing I learned, you can never take aways the Love that I have inside me. The Love that Christ has given me on the cross. You will never take away the one thing that I held so tight. You may have shattered my heart into pieces that I cannot put back together but I will still have that genuine love that I found in Christ. And you can never take that away from me.
One day I will learn to smile again. Someday, I will find happiness and joy in my life again. And soon enough, I will be able to stand on my own again, I will be stronger than I’ve ever been. I will be able look back in this chapter of my life and just laugh at how stupid I was and how foolish you are. I will be able to find someone who will value and respect my faith and my love for Christ. I will be able to share that genuine love that I have found in Christ with someone who will never question my love for God, my beliefs in Him, and my passion to serve Him; who will love God more than he loves me, and who will bring me closer to God through his love for me. And one day, someday, I will love again.