Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Icy Walls Broken Down

She built her walls so strong no one can break through it. She built her walls so high hoping no one can climb over it. When she got her heart broken, she vowed to never let her heart be smashed again, to never let anyone penetrate her walls again. She was okay for quite some time. She has learned to stand on her own again. She has returned to her solo flight mode, eating out alone and strolling the malls on her own, enjoying her own company. She was okay – or so she thought she was. She was so confident that her refuge, her ground is safe and secure.

You came unexpectedly. You were boring – lacking depth. She finds having small talks with you agonizing. She was about to give up on you but someone told her, “Hey, why don’t you give him a chance. Maybe he’s just gaining his footing.” And so she told herself, “Okay! One more try.”

The days passed and she gets to know you better. She gets to know who the real you is, your struggles, the difficulties you’ve been through, the heartaches that shattered you million times. She admired your belief in love, your faith in humanity and the goodness of the human heart. You’ve endured so much pain and had gone through a lot of difficulties growing up yet you remain kind-hearted. Never did you let all those pains and sufferings from hardening your heart. And here she is, with just a teeny-tiny bit of pain from the past and she was retreating to her cave again, she was hiding behind her walls, she was shutting everyone out. She admired how you still believe in love, in happy endings, in #forever even if you were cheated on, betrayed and hurt. She cannot believe that there ever exists someone who is so kind and loving as you are even after everything that you’ve been through.

iStock_000018767461XSmallShe never realized that her walls weren’t strong enough until one day, she just felt it melting and crumbling down. She wasn’t prepared for the strong earthquake, the tremendous shake that shattered her walls and broken down her defenses. You’ve turned her walls into sheets of ice making her realized how cold her heart is. And the warmth of your heart slowly melted them away. She was left vulnerable and unsafe again. She has opened her heart to you without her knowing it. Little did she know, you have slowly made a space in her heart. For her, your absence is uncomfortable; your silence is very painful. She was really scared. You are so like her and she is you in most aspects of your beliefs and principles in life. But one thing she loves about you is that she can be who she is, the goofy, funny, carefree little girl that has been hiding inside a strong and independent woman. She could be Ms. Clingy. She could be crazy. She could be funny and weird and most of all, she could laugh without limits, not thinking whether it’s prim and proper or not. She can be who she is when she is with you.

She woke up one day and realized that you’ve already created a personal space in her heart. You already occupied a portion of her heart and without you in it, she felt empty and incomplete.

And she just woke up one day, walls broken, unsafe, uncomfortable,  vulnerable and in love…

You broke her walls. You shattered her defenses…

But you built a wall of love around her heart. You created a steady stream of happiness in her life. She will be forever thankful to you for showing her how wonderful it is to love and to be loved again. For giving her the privilege to feel this kind of feeling, this euphoria of blissful happiness. For loving her and for making her understand why it never worked out with those from her past. And she will always be thankful to those who left you because if they stayed, she will not have the chance to be with you. She is very grateful for your coming into her life in the most unexpected, unimaginable way ever.

Your arms and your loving embrace is her safe refuge now. She doesn’t need walls. Your love is enough to keep her safe.

 

Stay in Love. Stay in God’s Love  ❤

Sarah Dawn 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

When We Find Each Other

One day I will find you. Or maybe you will. Or maybe we will find each other. Someday, our paths will cross and we will walk on the same road. Your joy will be my happiness, my happiness will be your gladness. Your  tears will dampen my cheeks and you will feel my embrace. My fears will be mine too but those fears we will fight together. Someday when our paths will meet at the crossroads God has created, each of us will be the fulfillment of His plans, the revelation of His greatness, the manifestation of His love.

Someday, we will understand why all of them left, why all those past relationships never work out. It never will because although it was part of God’s plan, they are not meant to stay. They were meant to teach us, to strengthen us, to improve us, our character, our attitude and who we really are. I hope those pain will not harden us – your heart and mine.

Continue reading “When We Find Each Other”

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Knock! Knock! It’s Time To Wake Up

I think you have had enough and it’s time to wake up now. You never love him anymore. You only love the things and feelings that he made you experience. You miss the feeling of being with someone who treats you special and honestly, there are other men out there who can treat you better. If he loves you, he could have fought for you. Yet he gave up on you without even trying to make things work when the relationship starts to get shaky and confusing. He left you without giving you any reasons and that alone is an obvious reason to wake up. You’ve been so down and depressed these past days and it has taken it’s toll on your body. You look horrible, to be honest. You aged and look older than your age. You have neglected your body and wallowed on the sadness of your heart. It’s time to shape up like literally!!

It’s time to move on and leave all the pains behind. It’s time to look forward to what’s ahead instead of always looking back behind you. The shadows of the past will always be shadows, a formless and non-existent mass of darkness if you choose to stay in the light. Never stay in the dark or away from the light. That will only make the shadows reappear. The past cannot be undone. It will always be there. However, you can always choose to move forward and never let these pains and hurt tie a shackle in your feet. You have the option to overcome it or empower it. Never let the latter got ahead of you. Never empower your past hurt because it will enslave you. Instead, overcome it. Show these shadows who the real master is, and it’s you. The power is all in you hands. You just have to choose it, badly want it, and to never let whatever negativities pull you down.

Girl, remember this: We are all fighting our own battles. But those who emerged winners don’t always have the best past. They are usually those who happen to have the most difficult past but have become masters of these difficulties. I’ve known you better and you can do better than this. You are a fighter. Never let these pain dull your sword. Instead, use this as an additional weapon to fight what’s ahead of you.

It’s been a year. It’s but timely to leave all these hurt behind. Be happy for him that despite all that he’s been through and done, someone still love him more than you do. You will eventually find that man who will do the same for you, who will love you and treasure you more that he has ever made you feel. And if in case that man will never come to your life, never think that he could have been him only you never gave your best shot for this relationship. You did, more than anyone could ever imagine. It’s just that he failed to see it. He failed to value all the sacrifices you gave to make the relationship work. He never saw how bad you felt for bending those principles that you have kept hidden in your heart.

Knock! Knock on your head! It’s time to let go…And the perfect time is NOW!!

And one more thing, the best revenge you can ever give him is to show him that you are better, that your life is better, that you are happy and successful without him. It’s time to do those things for yourself. Do those things that make you happy.

 

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

A Letter To You From The Cracks Of My Heart

Hello dearest,

Wherever you are right now, I pray that God is the center of your heart. I pray that you, too, desires to please Him, that you are seeking Him more than you are looking for me. I never prayed for you to come in my life before. Maybe that is why we haven’t met yet. However, right now, I often wake up in the middle of the night with a creeping loneliness in my heart. I feel so empty and there is this part of me that longs to know you, that longs to meet you soon.

Right now, more that anyone or anything else, I pray that God will ease the loneliness in my heart. I pray that He will replace this with patience. I know I am such a wreck right now and it would be so unfair if you will meet me in my current state. You would probably dislike me coz my cracks are so visible, you might even be devoured by it.

I am a work-in-progress and I would definitely want that you will meet me when I’m fully functional, not that I would be completed anytime soon because I know completion is such a long process. I pray that when we finally meet, you will love the cracks and the quirks, you will appreciate the weirdness of how my life is organized, you will accept the darkness of my past and you will still be there to illuminate the path towards my future, a future that I am so willing to share with you.

I am scared, you know. Scared that you might not be able to find me. There are moments when I would just try to figure out and imagine how are you or what are you up to. I am so excited to hear your stories and to share mine as well. Please don’t arrive soon though because I feel I still have so much fixing to do in my life. However, please pray for me that I will be fixed soon, that God will heal me sooner so that I will be whole again when I will finally meet you.

I long to see you. I long serve God with you. And most especially, I long to grow old with you.

Best regards,

Twilight Princess

 

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

A letter to all my fellow ladies: Don’t just settle, please

dont-settle-for-anybody-love-quotes-sayings-picturesOriginally published here.

Ladies, read carefully and make it your life’s motto- ‘Do not settle!’. Don’t settle into a job that makes you hate your life. Don’t settle with living in a town that never even felt like home. Don’t settle with having friends that turn their backs on you the minute you leave. And please, whatever you do, don’t ever settle with love that just doesn’t feel real.

You are worthy of nothing but the best. And the best will come your way only if you make it happen!

You truly deserve to be with someone special; someone who will laugh at your lame jokes, someone who will give you a big hug when you really need one, someone who will want to hold your hand through all the good times, as well as the bad.

You deserve the guy who can handle a real relationship, not the guy who just wants a fling; the guy who is ready to commit, not the guy who is unsure of his feelings for you; the guy who would do anything to make you happy, not the guy who is too self-absorbed to care about anyone else’s happiness.

Continue reading “A letter to all my fellow ladies: Don’t just settle, please”

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

A Letter of Encouragement To All Broken-hearted

Originally posted here

To all who are hurting:

I know you — the heartbroken.

I’ve been there recently, and plenty before. I know you better than you think I do. I know heartbreak as well as I know the taste of the ocean in my tears and the way my breath gets stuck in my heart instead of my throat. I know you’d assume I would say that I wish I didn’t.

You’d think I wouldn’t wish heartbreak on anyone, but I am happy to tell you that I am grateful for it. I am grateful to have been you and gotten to know misery’s soul because from there you see the beauty at heartbreak’s wake.

I know what it’s like to curl up into a ball and feel pain if you move from the only corner of your bed that still feels safe. I know what it’s like to bury yourself in your palms and in your memories. I know what it’s like to dig so deep for answers that your fingers start to bleed.

I know what it’s like to cry when you wake up and realize yesterday wasn’t just a dream. I know what it’s like to walk with two feet that don’t feel like your own. I know what it’s like — to feel alone.

I know what it’s like going in circles because you see your past on every corner. I know what it’s like to hate the silence but hate the sound of memories more. I know what it’s like to question moments, and also milliseconds, phrases, facial expressions, and empty kisses.

I know what it’s like to be lost but only because you’re so terrified to open your eyes and find yourself alone. I know what it’s like to be drunk from your tears and sober from the pain.

I know what it’s like, trust me.

I know what it’s like to be a mess and to be heartbreak’s biggest success. I know what it’s like to be a fool, to be naïve, and to be all the things a young woman should never be. I know what it’s like to lose my dignity and misplace my faith. I know what it’s like to miss my laugh and forget my smile.

I know what it’s like to carry regret with you on a chain around your neck. I know what it’s like… knowing that the whole world sees you falling and no one is following you down. I know what it’s like being down there and seeing the world go on without you.

What else do I know?

I know that the darkness fades, and that your smile has the power to light up the sky like the country’s brightest 4th of July. I know that the sun always eventually shines through the clouds, and when it doesn’t you learn to dance in its shadows and in the rain that falls like glitter from the sky.

I know that the pain will always be a memory, but I know that memories won’t always be painful. I know that you don’t just learn to walk again, but you learn to run to new dreams, to old dreams, and to all things.

I know that you could carry regret with you to your grave, but if you let go of it – if you let go – you can fly right out of heartbreak. I know that the sappy words came too easily, but I know that eventually you’ll have nothing melancholy to say. I know that the taste of your laughter will taste better than your tears.

I know that the day comes where you stretch out in an empty bed grateful for the space. You’re grateful for the space between the sheets and for the space to grow into who you’re meant to be.

Do you trust me? Because I know you, and I’m so happy that I do. Because this – all of this – I’m telling you this not to make myself feel better, not to make a scene, not to lie to myself like I used to when I wrote about heartache. I’m telling you this because I believe that it is true. I made it, and so can you.

I made it long ago but now it’s okay to go back to help you because it doesn’t hurt to remember anymore. Know that. Know that it really doesn’t hurt forever. You fall for strangers in coffees shops and get butterflies for faces in grocery aisles. You sing along to songs you used to hate.

You dream of wedding dresses and “the someone right”“the someone true”“the someone else” to watch you walk down an aisle in it.

I’m happy to report that that stupid line “time heals all” is true. Now I am resilient. Now I am happier alone than I ever was together. Now I know what I want and what I don’t. Now I can smile at the past and flirt with the future. Now it’s your turn. I know you – you can do this.

 

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

 

 

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

To the man who’s yet to come (and hopefully who will stay for the rest of my life)

August 11, 2015

6:30pm

Hi there,

My life has been a mess lately. I became impatient and weary in waiting for you so I decided to give it a try with someone else hoping that you might be him. And now, I end up broken and hurt. I should have waited. But sometimes, the waiting becomes the most challenging. I have no idea when we will be able to meet, if I will be able to know you, or if I you even exist. I’ve always been a believer of fairy tales and happy endings. I am a great fan of Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) for her story is a tale of true patience. But I guess, the part where she slept for a thousand years makes the “waiting” less painful and more bearable. I am also a fan of Belle (Beauty and the Beast). Her’s is a story of real and authentic love, a love that was never skin-deep. But I guess, she was never given a choice not to be with Beast in the first place that’s why she was able to make the most of what she has. You see, these two characters exemplify patience, acceptance, real and authentic love, and contentment. But I am neither Belle nor Aurora. And even though my name is Princess Aurora when you translate it, I am no royalty. Sometimes, I would even think that I am just a plain Jane. I am never a head turner. I am more of the boyish Jane than the girly Jane. And I am definitely not princess when you take into account how this world defines a “princess”.

I never thought that I would be able to love him (the one that broke my heart). I promised that I would never be in a relationship with someone unless I would know that he is “the one”. But I guess these past few days I am more concerned about finding you than waiting for you. I am more into accepting someone who will come along. I am swallowed by my fear of being alone and of growing old alone. I got scared that you might never find me. I get jealous when I see my friends post pictures of how happy they are with their husband/wife or with their boyfriend/girlfriend. I get envious about how they were able to find “The One” while here I am broken and hurt and is impatiently waiting for you. When will you ever come into my life? Or will you ever be coming into this messy life of mine? 

After the entire trial-and-error scheme, I’ve come to realize that I’d rather wait for you than be broken again. I couldn’t wait to meet you. I couldn’t wait to finally get to know you. I couldn’t wait to make memories with you. I couldn’t wait to know your mannerisms and quirks. I can’t wait to hold your hand or hear you laugh. I can’t wait to be part of your life. I hope you are looking forward in meeting me too.

But for now, I think I need to learn to be more patient and to be contented with what is happening in my life. I think I need to be more prepared for our meeting. I think I need to be more responsible with my actions, to be more honest with myself to what I really want. I need to become better for you, to be a great person that you can be proud of. I need to learn to be happy being alone so that I can be happy being with you. I just hope you won’t take long. But one thing is for sure, I’ll wait for you even if it takes forever.

Sincerly,

Ms. Patiently Waiting

 

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂