Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?

c19dabb3960a41af9db4a0c9ac96e32a

It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.

Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. Writing about this topic was like opening Pandora’s box and not knowing what disaster might strike me, what goblins and mystical “feelings” might come out, and most especially, what wounds and hurts might be opened up again. It was like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.

Continue reading “Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?”

Advertisements

Love is a game of tic-tac-toe,

constantly waiting for the next X or O.

– Lang Leav

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Dream-Chasers are Dream-Catchers

I am working on my dreams. People might say I am so behind at my age but I believe achieving my dreams has no deadline, right? As long as I am able, I still have the chance to get it. There are times that I feel so low especially when I feel so left out. I browse through my social media accounts and all I see are photos of my friends getting married, traveling or having dinner at fine restaurants. And when I look at myself, I have nothing to boast about – I am single, jobless, and struggling to achieve a dream that seem so impossible to others.

People often ask me why I want it. I sometimes asked myself that too. I don’t have an exact answer. I cannot give a concrete response. Why do I really want to go back to Canada? I really don’t know. All I know is that God placed that desire in my heart and with that, I am holding onto the possibility of getting there in His perfect time. I am hoping that one day, I will be able to step on snowy streets, dance under the falling sakura flowers, play with golden maple leaves, and see the perfect sunset of Patricia Bay again. It may be surreal for some, impossible for many. But with a God who provides, why would I doubt?  

So if my dream of going to a place that’s 10,000 kilometers away from where I am now, why would you doubt about yours? Those dreams, if you keep working on it, will eventually come true. If your dream is getting a great job, beings successful, or buying that BMW or that beach house, or finding true love, never lose hope. As long as you’re working towards it, all your efforts are not in vain. God sees your heart. He hears all those unuttered prayers and silent sighs. He feels the heaviness and your weariness. But take heart. Be courageous. This is not just your battle. This is HIS. God is fighting alongside with you. So be still. Relax. Your dream is on it’s way to reality. If today your chasing your dream, believe that one day you’ll be catching it. 

Keep the faith!

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

To you who feels like giving up and is thinking about quitting – DON’T. 


To you who feels like giving up on that one dream: DON’T! You have to hold on a little bit more. Give yourself and your dream more time to materialize. You have to live on that day when you will be able to say to yourself, “I made it.” You have to believe that this long stretch of waiting and getting impatient is part of the process. You have to cling onto the hope that God has the best plans for you (Jer 29:11) and all He think about is for your greater good.


The waiting process is really tiring. Every night as you lay down in bed, a lot of questions have crossed your mind – debates about the right and wrong decisions we made, about creating backup plans and fallback tactics, about regretting bad choices and not following great advices from others. I know there is chaos inside you. I know there’s that voice telling you to stop pursuing your dream and settling for what or where you’re currently in.

But my friend, giving up and quitting is not for victors. God has created you to be a conqueror. He wants you to increase your territory, to expand your horizon. God promised you a bright future. He has placed that desire in your heart – a HOPE and He will see you through.

The waiting is painful because waiting is polishing. You are subjected to pain because only in extreme circumstances can true beauty emerges. Only in painful events will your heart be created pure and true – pureness of love for God and trueness of trust in His plans.

Just hold on, God is not through with you yet. Your dream of a bright future is also God’s dream for you. Let the Maker mold you. Allow Him to shape you. Let the waiting process be fruitful instead of painful. See beauty in all the bumps and pauses. Remember it’s NOT a dead end, only a detour, a traffic jam or a spare tire issue. You will eventually get there – In His perfect time.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love.

Dawn 🙂
PHOTO CREDIT: http://jootix.ir/77929/

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Thank-Living

15732253_10154511554452740_2714153387782870098_o

So long 2016! Bring it on 2017!!!

We popped the champaign, made a toast for 2016, and welcomed the new year with too much partying and merry-making. We’ve left it all behind – the pain, the failures, the dark parts of it, while we packed the fun stuff, the laughter, the successes we bagged, and fully armoured, we are marching on a new year.

We bid farewell to lost dreams, lost love, lost people. We shed every inch of connection to what was. We flipped to another page and picked up the pen with eagerness and enthusiasm in our hearts, hopeful and optimistic that this year would be better, paths brighter, and dreams bigger.

The closing of the old book and opening of the new one feels more surreal as the clock strikes twelve and as we clink our glass and greeted one another. Our hearts are burning with passion as we are given a fresh start, a clean slate, a new beginning. We feel invincible and more capable to conquer. The hype of the New Year comes with a blast like fireworks brightening up the sky.

But as the clock continues to turn so are our lives continue to move. Soon enough, party’s over. People are leaving and calling it a night. The remnants of the festivity was mopped out and thrown away and little did we know, we are back to the same messed up and depressing life that we have. And as New Year’s day draws to an end, the reality of the normal and less optimistic tomorrow looms ahead.

However, so much for all the negativity. Well, my negativity really. Like most people would want to achieve as the new year starts, all of us made new year’s resolutions we wanted to keep. I made some myself too. But this time, I keep it down to the basics. What I really wanted to share is something that I haven’t done before. I have this “Our Daily Bread” App in my phone. It has daily bible reflections and today talks about the most famous Psalm 23, God our Shepherd and He provides what we need. What struck me the most is the reflection and how a lady, wanting on becoming more thankful, made a Thanks-Living Jar. It is basically a jar with notes she made every night of the things she is thankful for the day.

I believe, more than anything else, being thankful is the attitude that we should develop this coming year. All the negativity and darkness seem to disappear when we learn to be thankful for the grace and provisions God continuous pour in our lives.

Today, I am thankful for the friendship and the bond that links us together. 2016 has been a very difficult year for me. But I wouldn’t be able to clink some glass of champagne this New Year’s Eve if not for friends and special people who have helped me keep everything together when I felt like all things are falling apart.

So what are you thankful for today? Before the first day of the 365 ends, think about it. And if you have some time, grab a pen and a paper and write it down. Put it in a jar or whatever container you want, and on the New Year’s Eve of 2018, pull them out and read all of them and surely you will realize that you are living in Thanksgiving.

If you’ll give it a try, leave a comment below.

Have a blast!

 

Stay in love! Stay in God’s Love!

Dawn 🙂

Photo Credit: 104.9 The River

Posted in Food for Thoughts

A Poem by Russell Kelfer

It is my second day in reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Actually, this is the nth time of trying to complete the 40-day journey with this book. I always fail to finish the book even though how much I wanted to. I hope this time around, I will be able to make it to the end of the 40 days.

Anyway, I was reading the passage for Day 2 and at the end of the article, a poem by Russell Kelfer was written.

you-are-who-you-are-for-a-reason

I feel like my heart was pierced and I cannot help the tears from falling down my eyes.

“God love you.”

He loves you and me more than anything He has ever created. He created us so he can express his LOVE.

“No, that trauma you faced was not easy and God wept that it hurt you so. But it was allowed to shape your heart so that into His likeness you’d grow.”

I often feel alone these past few days. Every failure, every mistake, every wrong decision seem to magnify the loneliness and emptiness in my heart. I fail to realize that God is there too. He is weeping with me as each tear fall. He felt bad for me every time I fail or make a wrong decision. But despite all the darkness I was in, God is there, constantly telling me that HE LOVES ME.

“BUT I WAS TOO STUBBORN TO REALIZE THAT.”

I was too preoccupied in making everything right and covering every bit of mistake that I fail to appreciate that He is shaping through all the pain.

God loves me. He loves us all.

 

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Pitter-Patters on The Roof

overcoming-panic-attacks-558x279

She stares blankly on the pouring rain. The noise of the pitter-patters on the roof is trying to drown the voice from within. There are so many voices lately that she cannot figure out which is true and which is not. She wished she could stay curled in her bed all day, curved like a ball in the hope that doing so could lessen the emptiness she felt inside. The booming thunder cannot surpass the thuds of her heart as it beats faster and faster like raising thunderbolts across her chest. With each thud comes heaviness of breathing she cannot define. It seems like someone is trying to gag her mouth and want her dead by suffocation. Yes, death would be such a welcoming treat because it would mean silence from all the voices she cannot even understand. It would mean relief from all the emptiness inside. It would mean comfort from all the pain she kept hiding inside.

“Ahhhhhhhhh! Noooooo! Heeeeellllpppp!”

Three loud shouts came out of her mouth. And not long after, her mother rushed to her side. She’s been like that for the past three months. Panic attack is her frequent visitor. Her mother hugged her, trying to calm her down. Her shirt is soaked in sweat yet her palms are cold and white. Fear is painted across her face as if someone is trying to hurt her. As tears slowly fall from her eyes, as the heaviness of breathings starts to subside, she felt the soothing calmness of the pitter-patters on the roof.

She is a survivor and she will overcome all these madness she is currently facing. Whatever it takes, how long it may take, she will survive. Life has been bad lately. Things aren’t turning out the way she planned them to be. But she is hopeful, she will make it through.

She stares outside again but this time, no pouring rain. Instead, painted across the sky is a promise, a hope of a better, colourful tomorrow. She will still have panic attacks, that’s for sure. But death is never an option.

Life is beautiful! Never give up when problems try to pull you down. Believe that everything will be alright.

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂