Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Icy Walls Broken Down

She built her walls so strong no one can break through it. She built her walls so high hoping no one can climb over it. When she got her heart broken, she vowed to never let her heart be smashed again, to never let anyone penetrate her walls again. She was okay for quite some time. She has learned to stand on her own again. She has returned to her solo flight mode, eating out alone and strolling the malls on her own, enjoying her own company. She was okay – or so she thought she was. She was so confident that her refuge, her ground is safe and secure.

You came unexpectedly. You were boring – lacking depth. She finds having small talks with you agonizing. She was about to give up on you but someone told her, “Hey, why don’t you give him a chance. Maybe he’s just gaining his footing.” And so she told herself, “Okay! One more try.”

The days passed and she gets to know you better. She gets to know who the real you is, your struggles, the difficulties you’ve been through, the heartaches that shattered you million times. She admired your belief in love, your faith in humanity and the goodness of the human heart. You’ve endured so much pain and had gone through a lot of difficulties growing up yet you remain kind-hearted. Never did you let all those pains and sufferings from hardening your heart. And here she is, with just a teeny-tiny bit of pain from the past and she was retreating to her cave again, she was hiding behind her walls, she was shutting everyone out. She admired how you still believe in love, in happy endings, in #forever even if you were cheated on, betrayed and hurt. She cannot believe that there ever exists someone who is so kind and loving as you are even after everything that you’ve been through.

iStock_000018767461XSmallShe never realized that her walls weren’t strong enough until one day, she just felt it melting and crumbling down. She wasn’t prepared for the strong earthquake, the tremendous shake that shattered her walls and broken down her defenses. You’ve turned her walls into sheets of ice making her realized how cold her heart is. And the warmth of your heart slowly melted them away. She was left vulnerable and unsafe again. She has opened her heart to you without her knowing it. Little did she know, you have slowly made a space in her heart. For her, your absence is uncomfortable; your silence is very painful. She was really scared. You are so like her and she is you in most aspects of your beliefs and principles in life. But one thing she loves about you is that she can be who she is, the goofy, funny, carefree little girl that has been hiding inside a strong and independent woman. She could be Ms. Clingy. She could be crazy. She could be funny and weird and most of all, she could laugh without limits, not thinking whether it’s prim and proper or not. She can be who she is when she is with you.

She woke up one day and realized that you’ve already created a personal space in her heart. You already occupied a portion of her heart and without you in it, she felt empty and incomplete.

And she just woke up one day, walls broken, unsafe, uncomfortable,  vulnerable and in love…

You broke her walls. You shattered her defenses…

But you built a wall of love around her heart. You created a steady stream of happiness in her life. She will be forever thankful to you for showing her how wonderful it is to love and to be loved again. For giving her the privilege to feel this kind of feeling, this euphoria of blissful happiness. For loving her and for making her understand why it never worked out with those from her past. And she will always be thankful to those who left you because if they stayed, she will not have the chance to be with you. She is very grateful for your coming into her life in the most unexpected, unimaginable way ever.

Your arms and your loving embrace is her safe refuge now. She doesn’t need walls. Your love is enough to keep her safe.

 

Stay in Love. Stay in God’s Love  âť¤

Sarah Dawn 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Rhythms and Rhymes

Where Does Love Go When It Dies

True-Love-Never-Dies-Pictures-Photos

If the heart is the place where love comes,
Then where does it go when it dies?
Back to the heart where it comes from?
Or turn into tears in the eyes?

But even if one knew the answer
What would one possibly gain
Would the knowledge of where love has gone through
Ease the heartaches, the pain and the sorrow.

Why is it one cannot quite realize
What a blessing this true love can be
Must one love to know it it priceless?
Must one be blinded before one can see?

Ah! Where does love go when it leaves us?
This question will always remain
For we will know the answer
Until we love again.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

I happened to have found this composition somewhere in my old files. I cannot recall writing it so I cannot really take credit to it. This is written in a grungy bond paper through a typewriter. I can’t imagine how old this may have been composed given the manner of how this was written. But nonetheless, this is such a beautiful poem that I can’t resist not to publish. It has made me asked myself too. Where does love go when it dies? Where does it go when it leave us? Or does love really leave and die?

I think love never leave one’s heart nor it dies. It remains (1 Cor 13:13b) forever. However, the pain, the heartache, the sorrow – they usually overpower love.And when they rule our hearts, we tend to believe that our love dies. They say there is a thin line between love and hate and one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, hate cannot exists without love and so is the latter without the previous. Bottomline: LOVE REMAINS FOREVER.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love.

Sarah Dawn 🙂

PHOTO CREDIT

Posted in Food for Thoughts

A Poem by Russell Kelfer

It is my second day in reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Actually, this is the nth time of trying to complete the 40-day journey with this book. I always fail to finish the book even though how much I wanted to. I hope this time around, I will be able to make it to the end of the 40 days.

Anyway, I was reading the passage for Day 2 and at the end of the article, a poem by Russell Kelfer was written.

you-are-who-you-are-for-a-reason

I feel like my heart was pierced and I cannot help the tears from falling down my eyes.

“God love you.”

He loves you and me more than anything He has ever created. He created us so he can express his LOVE.

“No, that trauma you faced was not easy and God wept that it hurt you so. But it was allowed to shape your heart so that into His likeness you’d grow.”

I often feel alone these past few days. Every failure, every mistake, every wrong decision seem to magnify the loneliness and emptiness in my heart. I fail to realize that God is there too. He is weeping with me as each tear fall. He felt bad for me every time I fail or make a wrong decision. But despite all the darkness I was in, God is there, constantly telling me that HE LOVES ME.

“BUT I WAS TOO STUBBORN TO REALIZE THAT.”

I was too preoccupied in making everything right and covering every bit of mistake that I fail to appreciate that He is shaping through all the pain.

God loves me. He loves us all.

 

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

12 Insights Learned From A Broken Heart

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At some point in our lives, we go through pains of broken heart and broken relationships. In man’s pursuit for love, pain and suffering is inevitable. However, in every pain and suffering one goes through, we can always learn and gain insights that can equip us in moving forward and in trying to love again. These lessons make us stronger in facing life’s struggles and challenges.

I have my fair share of pains, human as I am. However, I am grateful for all the teachings life has given me. I hope that these insights will also inspire everyone to believe that love is just around the bend and that no failure is truly a failure, but are blessings-in-disguise and lessons in life.

1. Never love someone’s possibilities

You are the optimist. You believe that there is goodness in every one. You know that someday, he will change and you will live happily ever after. However, after one year, three years or maybe seven years, he is still the same a**h*le that he is. You get frustrated. You started to fight and little did you know, the relationship started to fail. It is going the drain or sinking in the sand. And where did it leave you? You were left broken, empty, and pained. Why? It is not because the relationship fails. It is not because you end up walking away from each other and living separate lives. The main reason is you hold on to a possibility of him – of him changing into someone you envisioned, someone you wanted him to become. You love some alter ego, unrealistic personality that you expect him to be. Loving is accepting who he is without the thought of transforming him into a perfect guy in a shining armor. Never love someone’s possibilities. You’ll end up hurt, broken, and frustrated.

2. You cannot give what you do not have

An empty well cannot give fresh water. Likewise, a person full of hurt and pain cannot give real love. Hurt and frustration will only lead to distrust and suspicions. That is the reason why, every broken person should properly heal before engaging in another relationship. You can never give love if inside your heart, all you feel is pain. Let yourself heal before you enter into a new relationship. You can never love with all your heart if it is not whole in the first place.

3. You are more than enough but sometimes others can’t see it

After every failed relationship, we often ask ourselves what went wrong or why we weren’t enough for him. I learned that being enough is so subjective. You may be lacking for him but never let that get the best in you. A person who will tell you that you’re not enough or that you’re not who they dreamed of being with is selfish because they only think of their own happiness and contentment. Anyone who told you that you’re not good, you’re not worth it, and you’re not enough for him is someone who is not completely happy with their lives. A happy and contented person will never need anyone to complete them or fulfill any function in their lives because they can survive on their own. Look for someone who wants and not needs you. If he needs you, once that need is not met or if someone is able to supply that need rather than you, he will eventually leave you.

4. Don’t sacrifice your happiness to save a relationship

If the relationship is depriving you the chance to be happy, it is a red flag. It’s time to let go. We all need to be with someone because it amplifies the happiness that we have. Once you are not happy with the relationship, you have to rethink about keeping it. We all make sacrifices when it comes to relationship. However, if it reaches the point that your own happiness is jeopardized, it’s time to re-evaluate.

Likewise, never look for happiness in a relationship. It should start from within you. You must be truly happy being single for you to be happy being in a relationship. Never seek happiness from someone else.

5. Learn when to hold on and when to let go.

Sometimes, holding on is more painful than letting go. It is like holding on to a piece of rope, the tighter your grip is, the more abraded your hands become. The friction between your hands and the rope will only create wounds or will give you calloused hands. Likewise, staying in a bad relationship will only bring you pain. It will hurt you physically and emotionally, and remember that emotional pain is very difficult to heal. Learn to let go when holding unto it becomes painful. Learn to let go before you find yourself hardened by all the pain. Save yourself and walk away. And if they are hurting you physically, I’m telling you, RUN – do not just walk away  but run away from that person.

Continue reading “12 Insights Learned From A Broken Heart”

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

A Letter of Encouragement To All Broken-hearted

Originally posted here

To all who are hurting:

I know you — the heartbroken.

I’ve been there recently, and plenty before. I know you better than you think I do. I know heartbreak as well as I know the taste of the ocean in my tears and the way my breath gets stuck in my heart instead of my throat. I know you’d assume I would say that I wish I didn’t.

You’d think I wouldn’t wish heartbreak on anyone, but I am happy to tell you that I am grateful for it. I am grateful to have been you and gotten to know misery’s soul because from there you see the beauty at heartbreak’s wake.

I know what it’s like to curl up into a ball and feel pain if you move from the only corner of your bed that still feels safe. I know what it’s like to bury yourself in your palms and in your memories. I know what it’s like to dig so deep for answers that your fingers start to bleed.

I know what it’s like to cry when you wake up and realize yesterday wasn’t just a dream. I know what it’s like to walk with two feet that don’t feel like your own. I know what it’s like — to feel alone.

I know what it’s like going in circles because you see your past on every corner. I know what it’s like to hate the silence but hate the sound of memories more. I know what it’s like to question moments, and also milliseconds, phrases, facial expressions, and empty kisses.

I know what it’s like to be lost but only because you’re so terrified to open your eyes and find yourself alone. I know what it’s like to be drunk from your tears and sober from the pain.

I know what it’s like, trust me.

I know what it’s like to be a mess and to be heartbreak’s biggest success. I know what it’s like to be a fool, to be naïve, and to be all the things a young woman should never be. I know what it’s like to lose my dignity and misplace my faith. I know what it’s like to miss my laugh and forget my smile.

I know what it’s like to carry regret with you on a chain around your neck. I know what it’s like… knowing that the whole world sees you falling and no one is following you down. I know what it’s like being down there and seeing the world go on without you.

What else do I know?

I know that the darkness fades, and that your smile has the power to light up the sky like the country’s brightest 4th of July. I know that the sun always eventually shines through the clouds, and when it doesn’t you learn to dance in its shadows and in the rain that falls like glitter from the sky.

I know that the pain will always be a memory, but I know that memories won’t always be painful. I know that you don’t just learn to walk again, but you learn to run to new dreams, to old dreams, and to all things.

I know that you could carry regret with you to your grave, but if you let go of it – if you let go – you can fly right out of heartbreak. I know that the sappy words came too easily, but I know that eventually you’ll have nothing melancholy to say. I know that the taste of your laughter will taste better than your tears.

I know that the day comes where you stretch out in an empty bed grateful for the space. You’re grateful for the space between the sheets and for the space to grow into who you’re meant to be.

Do you trust me? Because I know you, and I’m so happy that I do. Because this – all of this – I’m telling you this not to make myself feel better, not to make a scene, not to lie to myself like I used to when I wrote about heartache. I’m telling you this because I believe that it is true. I made it, and so can you.

I made it long ago but now it’s okay to go back to help you because it doesn’t hurt to remember anymore. Know that. Know that it really doesn’t hurt forever. You fall for strangers in coffees shops and get butterflies for faces in grocery aisles. You sing along to songs you used to hate.

You dream of wedding dresses and “the someone right”, “the someone true”, “the someone else” to watch you walk down an aisle in it.

I’m happy to report that that stupid line “time heals all” is true. Now I am resilient. Now I am happier alone than I ever was together. Now I know what I want and what I don’t. Now I can smile at the past and flirt with the future. Now it’s your turn. I know you – you can do this.

 

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

 

 

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 14: Describe The Last Moment You Felt Really, Really Blissful

The last moment I feel really, really blissful.

Happy. Joy. Glad. Blissful

The are moments that were marked by extreme and incomprehensible happiness, joy, gladness, or bliss. I know they are just synonymous but I think BLISS is superlative. Being blissful is defined as being extremely happy.

We all have that moments where we are taken aback by how things turned out and we are left in awe at the magnificent power of the Supreme Being working behind us and deep inside we felt really blissful, extremely joyous, indescribably happy. Continue reading “Day 14: Describe The Last Moment You Felt Really, Really Blissful”

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 12: Your Proudest Accomplishment

My proudest accomplishments.

Life is like an arena of different hurdles and challenges and we are presented with no other choice but to go through those challenges with the hope of acing them and making it to the end. Being able to surpass life’s challenges is indeed a huge accomplishment that we can really be proud of.

We all have accomplishments, however small it may seem, and at some point these accomplishments has really made us proud of ourselves. On some occasions, others may see these accomplishments as petty things, buy they mean so much to us because they have contributed in molding us into the person that we are now. For me, the greatest accomplishment that I am very proud of is setting up this blog and being able to keep up with all these posts. Continue reading “Day 12: Your Proudest Accomplishment”