Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?

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It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.

Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. Writing about this topic was like opening Pandora’s box and not knowing what disaster might strike me, what goblins and mystical “feelings” might come out, and most especially, what wounds and hurts might be opened up again. It was like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.

Continue reading “Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?”

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Posted in Food for Thoughts

Dream-Chasers are Dream-Catchers

I am working on my dreams. People might say I am so behind at my age but I believe achieving my dreams has no deadline, right? As long as I am able, I still have the chance to get it. There are times that I feel so low especially when I feel so left out. I browse through my social media accounts and all I see are photos of my friends getting married, traveling or having dinner at fine restaurants. And when I look at myself, I have nothing to boast about – I am single, jobless, and struggling to achieve a dream that seem so impossible to others.

People often ask me why I want it. I sometimes asked myself that too. I don’t have an exact answer. I cannot give a concrete response. Why do I really want to go back to Canada? I really don’t know. All I know is that God placed that desire in my heart and with that, I am holding onto the possibility of getting there in His perfect time. I am hoping that one day, I will be able to step on snowy streets, dance under the falling sakura flowers, play with golden maple leaves, and see the perfect sunset of Patricia Bay again. It may be surreal for some, impossible for many. But with a God who provides, why would I doubt?  

So if my dream of going to a place that’s 10,000 kilometers away from where I am now, why would you doubt about yours? Those dreams, if you keep working on it, will eventually come true. If your dream is getting a great job, beings successful, or buying that BMW or that beach house, or finding true love, never lose hope. As long as you’re working towards it, all your efforts are not in vain. God sees your heart. He hears all those unuttered prayers and silent sighs. He feels the heaviness and your weariness. But take heart. Be courageous. This is not just your battle. This is HIS. God is fighting alongside with you. So be still. Relax. Your dream is on it’s way to reality. If today your chasing your dream, believe that one day you’ll be catching it. 

Keep the faith!

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

To you who feels like giving up and is thinking about quitting – DON’T. 


To you who feels like giving up on that one dream: DON’T! You have to hold on a little bit more. Give yourself and your dream more time to materialize. You have to live on that day when you will be able to say to yourself, “I made it.” You have to believe that this long stretch of waiting and getting impatient is part of the process. You have to cling onto the hope that God has the best plans for you (Jer 29:11) and all He think about is for your greater good.


The waiting process is really tiring. Every night as you lay down in bed, a lot of questions have crossed your mind – debates about the right and wrong decisions we made, about creating backup plans and fallback tactics, about regretting bad choices and not following great advices from others. I know there is chaos inside you. I know there’s that voice telling you to stop pursuing your dream and settling for what or where you’re currently in.

But my friend, giving up and quitting is not for victors. God has created you to be a conqueror. He wants you to increase your territory, to expand your horizon. God promised you a bright future. He has placed that desire in your heart – a HOPE and He will see you through.

The waiting is painful because waiting is polishing. You are subjected to pain because only in extreme circumstances can true beauty emerges. Only in painful events will your heart be created pure and true – pureness of love for God and trueness of trust in His plans.

Just hold on, God is not through with you yet. Your dream of a bright future is also God’s dream for you. Let the Maker mold you. Allow Him to shape you. Let the waiting process be fruitful instead of painful. See beauty in all the bumps and pauses. Remember it’s NOT a dead end, only a detour, a traffic jam or a spare tire issue. You will eventually get there – In His perfect time.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love.

Dawn 🙂
PHOTO CREDIT: http://jootix.ir/77929/

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A Poem by Russell Kelfer

It is my second day in reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Actually, this is the nth time of trying to complete the 40-day journey with this book. I always fail to finish the book even though how much I wanted to. I hope this time around, I will be able to make it to the end of the 40 days.

Anyway, I was reading the passage for Day 2 and at the end of the article, a poem by Russell Kelfer was written.

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I feel like my heart was pierced and I cannot help the tears from falling down my eyes.

“God love you.”

He loves you and me more than anything He has ever created. He created us so he can express his LOVE.

“No, that trauma you faced was not easy and God wept that it hurt you so. But it was allowed to shape your heart so that into His likeness you’d grow.”

I often feel alone these past few days. Every failure, every mistake, every wrong decision seem to magnify the loneliness and emptiness in my heart. I fail to realize that God is there too. He is weeping with me as each tear fall. He felt bad for me every time I fail or make a wrong decision. But despite all the darkness I was in, God is there, constantly telling me that HE LOVES ME.

“BUT I WAS TOO STUBBORN TO REALIZE THAT.”

I was too preoccupied in making everything right and covering every bit of mistake that I fail to appreciate that He is shaping through all the pain.

God loves me. He loves us all.

 

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Pitter-Patters on The Roof

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She stares blankly on the pouring rain. The noise of the pitter-patters on the roof is trying to drown the voice from within. There are so many voices lately that she cannot figure out which is true and which is not. She wished she could stay curled in her bed all day, curved like a ball in the hope that doing so could lessen the emptiness she felt inside. The booming thunder cannot surpass the thuds of her heart as it beats faster and faster like raising thunderbolts across her chest. With each thud comes heaviness of breathing she cannot define. It seems like someone is trying to gag her mouth and want her dead by suffocation. Yes, death would be such a welcoming treat because it would mean silence from all the voices she cannot even understand. It would mean relief from all the emptiness inside. It would mean comfort from all the pain she kept hiding inside.

“Ahhhhhhhhh! Noooooo! Heeeeellllpppp!”

Three loud shouts came out of her mouth. And not long after, her mother rushed to her side. She’s been like that for the past three months. Panic attack is her frequent visitor. Her mother hugged her, trying to calm her down. Her shirt is soaked in sweat yet her palms are cold and white. Fear is painted across her face as if someone is trying to hurt her. As tears slowly fall from her eyes, as the heaviness of breathings starts to subside, she felt the soothing calmness of the pitter-patters on the roof.

She is a survivor and she will overcome all these madness she is currently facing. Whatever it takes, how long it may take, she will survive. Life has been bad lately. Things aren’t turning out the way she planned them to be. But she is hopeful, she will make it through.

She stares outside again but this time, no pouring rain. Instead, painted across the sky is a promise, a hope of a better, colourful tomorrow. She will still have panic attacks, that’s for sure. But death is never an option.

Life is beautiful! Never give up when problems try to pull you down. Believe that everything will be alright.

Stay in love! Stay in God’s love!

Dawn 🙂

 

Posted in Food for Thoughts

12 Insights Learned From A Broken Heart

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At some point in our lives, we go through pains of broken heart and broken relationships. In man’s pursuit for love, pain and suffering is inevitable. However, in every pain and suffering one goes through, we can always learn and gain insights that can equip us in moving forward and in trying to love again. These lessons make us stronger in facing life’s struggles and challenges.

I have my fair share of pains, human as I am. However, I am grateful for all the teachings life has given me. I hope that these insights will also inspire everyone to believe that love is just around the bend and that no failure is truly a failure, but are blessings-in-disguise and lessons in life.

1. Never love someone’s possibilities

You are the optimist. You believe that there is goodness in every one. You know that someday, he will change and you will live happily ever after. However, after one year, three years or maybe seven years, he is still the same a**h*le that he is. You get frustrated. You started to fight and little did you know, the relationship started to fail. It is going the drain or sinking in the sand. And where did it leave you? You were left broken, empty, and pained. Why? It is not because the relationship fails. It is not because you end up walking away from each other and living separate lives. The main reason is you hold on to a possibility of him – of him changing into someone you envisioned, someone you wanted him to become. You love some alter ego, unrealistic personality that you expect him to be. Loving is accepting who he is without the thought of transforming him into a perfect guy in a shining armor. Never love someone’s possibilities. You’ll end up hurt, broken, and frustrated.

2. You cannot give what you do not have

An empty well cannot give fresh water. Likewise, a person full of hurt and pain cannot give real love. Hurt and frustration will only lead to distrust and suspicions. That is the reason why, every broken person should properly heal before engaging in another relationship. You can never give love if inside your heart, all you feel is pain. Let yourself heal before you enter into a new relationship. You can never love with all your heart if it is not whole in the first place.

3. You are more than enough but sometimes others can’t see it

After every failed relationship, we often ask ourselves what went wrong or why we weren’t enough for him. I learned that being enough is so subjective. You may be lacking for him but never let that get the best in you. A person who will tell you that you’re not enough or that you’re not who they dreamed of being with is selfish because they only think of their own happiness and contentment. Anyone who told you that you’re not good, you’re not worth it, and you’re not enough for him is someone who is not completely happy with their lives. A happy and contented person will never need anyone to complete them or fulfill any function in their lives because they can survive on their own. Look for someone who wants and not needs you. If he needs you, once that need is not met or if someone is able to supply that need rather than you, he will eventually leave you.

4. Don’t sacrifice your happiness to save a relationship

If the relationship is depriving you the chance to be happy, it is a red flag. It’s time to let go. We all need to be with someone because it amplifies the happiness that we have. Once you are not happy with the relationship, you have to rethink about keeping it. We all make sacrifices when it comes to relationship. However, if it reaches the point that your own happiness is jeopardized, it’s time to re-evaluate.

Likewise, never look for happiness in a relationship. It should start from within you. You must be truly happy being single for you to be happy being in a relationship. Never seek happiness from someone else.

5. Learn when to hold on and when to let go.

Sometimes, holding on is more painful than letting go. It is like holding on to a piece of rope, the tighter your grip is, the more abraded your hands become. The friction between your hands and the rope will only create wounds or will give you calloused hands. Likewise, staying in a bad relationship will only bring you pain. It will hurt you physically and emotionally, and remember that emotional pain is very difficult to heal. Learn to let go when holding unto it becomes painful. Learn to let go before you find yourself hardened by all the pain. Save yourself and walk away. And if they are hurting you physically, I’m telling you, RUN – do not just walk away  but run away from that person.

Continue reading “12 Insights Learned From A Broken Heart”

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Day 14: Describe The Last Moment You Felt Really, Really Blissful

The last moment I feel really, really blissful.

Happy. Joy. Glad. Blissful

The are moments that were marked by extreme and incomprehensible happiness, joy, gladness, or bliss. I know they are just synonymous but I think BLISS is superlative. Being blissful is defined as being extremely happy.

We all have that moments where we are taken aback by how things turned out and we are left in awe at the magnificent power of the Supreme Being working behind us and deep inside we felt really blissful, extremely joyous, indescribably happy. Continue reading “Day 14: Describe The Last Moment You Felt Really, Really Blissful”