Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Icy Walls Broken Down

She built her walls so strong no one can break through it. She built her walls so high hoping no one can climb over it. When she got her heart broken, she vowed to never let her heart be smashed again, to never let anyone penetrate her walls again. She was okay for quite some time. She has learned to stand on her own again. She has returned to her solo flight mode, eating out alone and strolling the malls on her own, enjoying her own company. She was okay – or so she thought she was. She was so confident that her refuge, her ground is safe and secure.

You came unexpectedly. You were boring – lacking depth. She finds having small talks with you agonizing. She was about to give up on you but someone told her, “Hey, why don’t you give him a chance. Maybe he’s just gaining his footing.” And so she told herself, “Okay! One more try.”

The days passed and she gets to know you better. She gets to know who the real you is, your struggles, the difficulties you’ve been through, the heartaches that shattered you million times. She admired your belief in love, your faith in humanity and the goodness of the human heart. You’ve endured so much pain and had gone through a lot of difficulties growing up yet you remain kind-hearted. Never did you let all those pains and sufferings from hardening your heart. And here she is, with just a teeny-tiny bit of pain from the past and she was retreating to her cave again, she was hiding behind her walls, she was shutting everyone out. She admired how you still believe in love, in happy endings, in #forever even if you were cheated on, betrayed and hurt. She cannot believe that there ever exists someone who is so kind and loving as you are even after everything that you’ve been through.

iStock_000018767461XSmallShe never realized that her walls weren’t strong enough until one day, she just felt it melting and crumbling down. She wasn’t prepared for the strong earthquake, the tremendous shake that shattered her walls and broken down her defenses. You’ve turned her walls into sheets of ice making her realized how cold her heart is. And the warmth of your heart slowly melted them away. She was left vulnerable and unsafe again. She has opened her heart to you without her knowing it. Little did she know, you have slowly made a space in her heart. For her, your absence is uncomfortable; your silence is very painful. She was really scared. You are so like her and she is you in most aspects of your beliefs and principles in life. But one thing she loves about you is that she can be who she is, the goofy, funny, carefree little girl that has been hiding inside a strong and independent woman. She could be Ms. Clingy. She could be crazy. She could be funny and weird and most of all, she could laugh without limits, not thinking whether it’s prim and proper or not. She can be who she is when she is with you.

She woke up one day and realized that you’ve already created a personal space in her heart. You already occupied a portion of her heart and without you in it, she felt empty and incomplete.

And she just woke up one day, walls broken, unsafe, uncomfortable,  vulnerable and in love…

You broke her walls. You shattered her defenses…

But you built a wall of love around her heart. You created a steady stream of happiness in her life. She will be forever thankful to you for showing her how wonderful it is to love and to be loved again. For giving her the privilege to feel this kind of feeling, this euphoria of blissful happiness. For loving her and for making her understand why it never worked out with those from her past. And she will always be thankful to those who left you because if they stayed, she will not have the chance to be with you. She is very grateful for your coming into her life in the most unexpected, unimaginable way ever.

Your arms and your loving embrace is her safe refuge now. She doesn’t need walls. Your love is enough to keep her safe.

 

Stay in Love. Stay in God’s Love  ❤

Sarah Dawn 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Para sa gusto nang mag-move on
Sa mga ayaw nang mag-hold on
Sa mga pagod nang masaktan
At takot nang maiwan.
Sa mga pusong sawi
Luhaa at duguan
Sa mga matang pagod nang umiyak
At mga kamay’ng wala nang kahawak.
Wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa
Puso mo may nagdurusa
Pasasaan ba’t ikaw din ay liligaya
Matatagpuan mo rin siya
Ang taong sayo’y magpapasaya
Hindi na kailanman mag-iisa
Dahil sa bawat paglubog ng araw
May kamay na hahawak sayo
At sa bawat bukang-liwayway
May mga bisig na yayakap sayo.
Kapit lang,
Darating ang araw
Ngiti sa iyong mga labi
Ay muling matatanaw.

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

When We Find Each Other

One day I will find you. Or maybe you will. Or maybe we will find each other. Someday, our paths will cross and we will walk on the same road. Your joy will be my happiness, my happiness will be your gladness. Your  tears will dampen my cheeks and you will feel my embrace. My fears will be mine too but those fears we will fight together. Someday when our paths will meet at the crossroads God has created, each of us will be the fulfillment of His plans, the revelation of His greatness, the manifestation of His love.

Someday, we will understand why all of them left, why all those past relationships never work out. It never will because although it was part of God’s plan, they are not meant to stay. They were meant to teach us, to strengthen us, to improve us, our character, our attitude and who we really are. I hope those pain will not harden us – your heart and mine.

Continue reading “When We Find Each Other”

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?

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It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.

Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. It’s like opening Pandora’s box and not knowing what disaster might strike me, what goblins and mystical “feelings” might come out, and most especially, what wounds and hurts might be opened up again. It was like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.

Continue reading “Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?”

Love is a game of tic-tac-toe,

constantly waiting for the next X or O.

– Lang Leav

Posted in Rhythms and Rhymes

Where Does Love Go When It Dies

True-Love-Never-Dies-Pictures-Photos

If the heart is the place where love comes,
Then where does it go when it dies?
Back to the heart where it comes from?
Or turn into tears in the eyes?

But even if one knew the answer
What would one possibly gain
Would the knowledge of where love has gone through
Ease the heartaches, the pain and the sorrow.

Why is it one cannot quite realize
What a blessing this true love can be
Must one love to know it it priceless?
Must one be blinded before one can see?

Ah! Where does love go when it leaves us?
This question will always remain
For we will know the answer
Until we love again.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

I happened to have found this composition somewhere in my old files. I cannot recall writing it so I cannot really take credit to it. This is written in a grungy bond paper through a typewriter. I can’t imagine how old this may have been composed given the manner of how this was written. But nonetheless, this is such a beautiful poem that I can’t resist not to publish. It has made me asked myself too. Where does love go when it dies? Where does it go when it leave us? Or does love really leave and die?

I think love never leave one’s heart nor it dies. It remains (1 Cor 13:13b) forever. However, the pain, the heartache, the sorrow – they usually overpower love.And when they rule our hearts, we tend to believe that our love dies. They say there is a thin line between love and hate and one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, hate cannot exists without love and so is the latter without the previous. Bottomline: LOVE REMAINS FOREVER.

Stay in love. Stay in God’s love.

Sarah Dawn 🙂

PHOTO CREDIT

Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Knock! Knock! It’s Time To Wake Up

I think you have had enough and it’s time to wake up now. You never love him anymore. You only love the things and feelings that he made you experience. You miss the feeling of being with someone who treats you special and honestly, there are other men out there who can treat you better. If he loves you, he could have fought for you. Yet he gave up on you without even trying to make things work when the relationship starts to get shaky and confusing. He left you without giving you any reasons and that alone is an obvious reason to wake up. You’ve been so down and depressed these past days and it has taken it’s toll on your body. You look horrible, to be honest. You aged and look older than your age. You have neglected your body and wallowed on the sadness of your heart. It’s time to shape up like literally!!

It’s time to move on and leave all the pains behind. It’s time to look forward to what’s ahead instead of always looking back behind you. The shadows of the past will always be shadows, a formless and non-existent mass of darkness if you choose to stay in the light. Never stay in the dark or away from the light. That will only make the shadows reappear. The past cannot be undone. It will always be there. However, you can always choose to move forward and never let these pains and hurt tie a shackle in your feet. You have the option to overcome it or empower it. Never let the latter got ahead of you. Never empower your past hurt because it will enslave you. Instead, overcome it. Show these shadows who the real master is, and it’s you. The power is all in you hands. You just have to choose it, badly want it, and to never let whatever negativities pull you down.

Girl, remember this: We are all fighting our own battles. But those who emerged winners don’t always have the best past. They are usually those who happen to have the most difficult past but have become masters of these difficulties. I’ve known you better and you can do better than this. You are a fighter. Never let these pain dull your sword. Instead, use this as an additional weapon to fight what’s ahead of you.

It’s been a year. It’s but timely to leave all these hurt behind. Be happy for him that despite all that he’s been through and done, someone still love him more than you do. You will eventually find that man who will do the same for you, who will love you and treasure you more that he has ever made you feel. And if in case that man will never come to your life, never think that he could have been him only you never gave your best shot for this relationship. You did, more than anyone could ever imagine. It’s just that he failed to see it. He failed to value all the sacrifices you gave to make the relationship work. He never saw how bad you felt for bending those principles that you have kept hidden in your heart.

Knock! Knock on your head! It’s time to let go…And the perfect time is NOW!!

And one more thing, the best revenge you can ever give him is to show him that you are better, that your life is better, that you are happy and successful without him. It’s time to do those things for yourself. Do those things that make you happy.