Para sa gusto nang mag-move on
Sa mga ayaw nang mag-hold on
Sa mga pagod nang masaktan
At takot nang maiwan.
Sa mga pusong sawi
Luhaa at duguan
Sa mga matang pagod nang umiyak
At mga kamay’ng wala nang kahawak.
Wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa
Puso mo may nagdurusa
Pasasaan ba’t ikaw din ay liligaya
Matatagpuan mo rin siya
Ang taong sayo’y magpapasaya
Hindi na kailanman mag-iisa
Dahil sa bawat paglubog ng araw
May kamay na hahawak sayo
At sa bawat bukang-liwayway
May mga bisig na yayakap sayo.
Darating ang araw
Ngiti sa iyong mga labi
Ay muling matatanaw.
One day I will find you. Or maybe you will. Or maybe we will find each other. Someday, our paths will cross and we will walk on the same road. Your joy will be my happiness, my happiness will be your gladness. Your tears will dampen my cheeks and you will feel my embrace. My fears will be mine too but those fears we will fight together. Someday when our paths will meet at the crossroads God has created, each of us will be the fulfillment of His plans, the revelation of His greatness, the manifestation of His love.
Someday, we will understand why all of them left, why all those past relationships never work out. It never will because although it was part of God’s plan, they are not meant to stay. They were meant to teach us, to strengthen us, to improve us, our character, our attitude and who we really are. I hope those pain will not harden us – your heart and mine.
It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.
Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. It’s like opening Pandora’s box and not knowing what disaster might strike me, what goblins and mystical “feelings” might come out, and most especially, what wounds and hurts might be opened up again. It was like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.
If the heart is the place where love comes,
Then where does it go when it dies?
Back to the heart where it comes from?
Or turn into tears in the eyes?
But even if one knew the answer
What would one possibly gain
Would the knowledge of where love has gone through
Ease the heartaches, the pain and the sorrow.
Why is it one cannot quite realize
What a blessing this true love can be
Must one love to know it it priceless?
Must one be blinded before one can see?
Ah! Where does love go when it leaves us?
This question will always remain
For we will know the answer
Until we love again.
I happened to have found this composition somewhere in my old files. I cannot recall writing it so I cannot really take credit to it. This is written in a grungy bond paper through a typewriter. I can’t imagine how old this may have been composed given the manner of how this was written. But nonetheless, this is such a beautiful poem that I can’t resist not to publish. It has made me asked myself too. Where does love go when it dies? Where does it go when it leave us? Or does love really leave and die?
I think love never leave one’s heart nor it dies. It remains (1 Cor 13:13b) forever. However, the pain, the heartache, the sorrow – they usually overpower love.And when they rule our hearts, we tend to believe that our love dies. They say there is a thin line between love and hate and one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, hate cannot exists without love and so is the latter without the previous. Bottomline: LOVE REMAINS FOREVER.
I think you have had enough and it’s time to wake up now. You never love him anymore. You only love the things and feelings that he made you experience. You miss the feeling of being with someone who treats you special and honestly, there are other men out there who can treat you better. If he loves you, he could have fought for you. Yet he gave up on you without even trying to make things work when the relationship starts to get shaky and confusing. He left you without giving you any reasons and that alone is an obvious reason to wake up. You’ve been so down and depressed these past days and it has taken it’s toll on your body. You look horrible, to be honest. You aged and look older than your age. You have neglected your body and wallowed on the sadness of your heart. It’s time to shape up like literally!!
It’s time to move on and leave all the pains behind. It’s time to look forward to what’s ahead instead of always looking back behind you. The shadows of the past will always be shadows, a formless and non-existent mass of darkness if you choose to stay in the light. Never stay in the dark or away from the light. That will only make the shadows reappear. The past cannot be undone. It will always be there. However, you can always choose to move forward and never let these pains and hurt tie a shackle in your feet. You have the option to overcome it or empower it. Never let the latter got ahead of you. Never empower your past hurt because it will enslave you. Instead, overcome it. Show these shadows who the real master is, and it’s you. The power is all in you hands. You just have to choose it, badly want it, and to never let whatever negativities pull you down.
Girl, remember this: We are all fighting our own battles. But those who emerged winners don’t always have the best past. They are usually those who happen to have the most difficult past but have become masters of these difficulties. I’ve known you better and you can do better than this. You are a fighter. Never let these pain dull your sword. Instead, use this as an additional weapon to fight what’s ahead of you.
It’s been a year. It’s but timely to leave all these hurt behind. Be happy for him that despite all that he’s been through and done, someone still love him more than you do. You will eventually find that man who will do the same for you, who will love you and treasure you more that he has ever made you feel. And if in case that man will never come to your life, never think that he could have been him only you never gave your best shot for this relationship. You did, more than anyone could ever imagine. It’s just that he failed to see it. He failed to value all the sacrifices you gave to make the relationship work. He never saw how bad you felt for bending those principles that you have kept hidden in your heart.
Knock! Knock on your head! It’s time to let go…And the perfect time is NOW!!
And one more thing, the best revenge you can ever give him is to show him that you are better, that your life is better, that you are happy and successful without him. It’s time to do those things for yourself. Do those things that make you happy.
It is my second day in reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Actually, this is the nth time of trying to complete the 40-day journey with this book. I always fail to finish the book even though how much I wanted to. I hope this time around, I will be able to make it to the end of the 40 days.
Anyway, I was reading the passage for Day 2 and at the end of the article, a poem by Russell Kelfer was written.
I feel like my heart was pierced and I cannot help the tears from falling down my eyes.
“God love you.”
He loves you and me more than anything He has ever created. He created us so he can express his LOVE.
“No, that trauma you faced was not easy and God wept that it hurt you so. But it was allowed to shape your heart so that into His likeness you’d grow.”
I often feel alone these past few days. Every failure, every mistake, every wrong decision seem to magnify the loneliness and emptiness in my heart. I fail to realize that God is there too. He is weeping with me as each tear fall. He felt bad for me every time I fail or make a wrong decision. But despite all the darkness I was in, God is there, constantly telling me that HE LOVES ME.
“BUT I WAS TOO STUBBORN TO REALIZE THAT.”
I was too preoccupied in making everything right and covering every bit of mistake that I fail to appreciate that He is shaping through all the pain.