Posted in Epistles of the Heart

Icy Walls Broken Down

She built her walls so strong no one can break through it. She built her walls so high hoping no one can climb over it. When she got her heart broken, she vowed to never let her heart be smashed again, to never let anyone penetrate her walls again. She was okay for quite some time. She has learned to stand on her own again. She has returned to her solo flight mode, eating out alone and strolling the malls on her own, enjoying her own company. She was okay – or so she thought she was. She was so confident that her refuge, her ground is safe and secure.

You came unexpectedly. You were boring – lacking depth. She finds having small talks with you agonizing. She was about to give up on you but someone told her, “Hey, why don’t you give him a chance. Maybe he’s just gaining his footing.” And so she told herself, “Okay! One more try.”

The days passed and she gets to know you better. She gets to know who the real you is, your struggles, the difficulties you’ve been through, the heartaches that shattered you million times. She admired your belief in love, your faith in humanity and the goodness of the human heart. You’ve endured so much pain and had gone through a lot of difficulties growing up yet you remain kind-hearted. Never did you let all those pains and sufferings from hardening your heart. And here she is, with just a teeny-tiny bit of pain from the past and she was retreating to her cave again, she was hiding behind her walls, she was shutting everyone out. She admired how you still believe in love, in happy endings, in #forever even if you were cheated on, betrayed and hurt. She cannot believe that there ever exists someone who is so kind and loving as you are even after everything that you’ve been through.

iStock_000018767461XSmallShe never realized that her walls weren’t strong enough until one day, she just felt it melting and crumbling down. She wasn’t prepared for the strong earthquake, the tremendous shake that shattered her walls and broken down her defenses. You’ve turned her walls into sheets of ice making her realized how cold her heart is. And the warmth of your heart slowly melted them away. She was left vulnerable and unsafe again. She has opened her heart to you without her knowing it. Little did she know, you have slowly made a space in her heart. For her, your absence is uncomfortable; your silence is very painful. She was really scared. You are so like her and she is you in most aspects of your beliefs and principles in life. But one thing she loves about you is that she can be who she is, the goofy, funny, carefree little girl that has been hiding inside a strong and independent woman. She could be Ms. Clingy. She could be crazy. She could be funny and weird and most of all, she could laugh without limits, not thinking whether it’s prim and proper or not. She can be who she is when she is with you.

She woke up one day and realized that you’ve already created a personal space in her heart. You already occupied a portion of her heart and without you in it, she felt empty and incomplete.

And she just woke up one day, walls broken, unsafe, uncomfortable,  vulnerable and in love…

You broke her walls. You shattered her defenses…

But you built a wall of love around her heart. You created a steady stream of happiness in her life. She will be forever thankful to you for showing her how wonderful it is to love and to be loved again. For giving her the privilege to feel this kind of feeling, this euphoria of blissful happiness. For loving her and for making her understand why it never worked out with those from her past. And she will always be thankful to those who left you because if they stayed, she will not have the chance to be with you. She is very grateful for your coming into her life in the most unexpected, unimaginable way ever.

Your arms and your loving embrace is her safe refuge now. She doesn’t need walls. Your love is enough to keep her safe.

 

Stay in Love. Stay in God’s Love  âť¤

Sarah Dawn 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Para sa gusto nang mag-move on
Sa mga ayaw nang mag-hold on
Sa mga pagod nang masaktan
At takot nang maiwan.
Sa mga pusong sawi
Luhaa at duguan
Sa mga matang pagod nang umiyak
At mga kamay’ng wala nang kahawak.
Wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa
Puso mo may nagdurusa
Pasasaan ba’t ikaw din ay liligaya
Matatagpuan mo rin siya
Ang taong sayo’y magpapasaya
Hindi na kailanman mag-iisa
Dahil sa bawat paglubog ng araw
May kamay na hahawak sayo
At sa bawat bukang-liwayway
May mga bisig na yayakap sayo.
Kapit lang,
Darating ang araw
Ngiti sa iyong mga labi
Ay muling matatanaw.

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?

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It’s been a while since I last posted for the #30daysbloggingchallenge. In fact, it has been more than a year since my last post. It’s not that I am busy. I think it is a personal choice. The 15th topic is very daunting. Also, I would say, a year ago, I was very different. Year 2016 was such a very challenging year for me. I have to make a lot of changes with my lifestyle since moving back to the Philippines after two years of staying in Canada. I was struggling on a lot of things, one of which is finding a new job. My finances are not that stable and life is a bit hard.

Aside from that, the topic itself is what I am avoiding. I guess not having the closure that I hoped I would get from my last relationship was difficult for me. It was something that I never imagined. It was something that I never dreamed of in my relationship. Being the perfectionist that I am, not having a closure is a prick in my bubble, sending my world and high expectations crashing to the ground. It’s like opening Pandora’s box and not knowing what disaster might strike me, what goblins and mystical “feelings” might come out, and most especially, what wounds and hurts might be opened up again. It was like poking through an almost-healed wound, seeing the cut open up, and feeling the pain all over again. That is why I decided not to post this last year. I feel I am not ready yet to expose myself for the world to judge.

Continue reading “Day 15: Narrate a Conversation Between You and Someone Who You Never Had Closure With?”

Love is a game of tic-tac-toe,

constantly waiting for the next X or O.

– Lang Leav

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 8 : Five Things That Are Most Important To You In A Future Mate

Five Things That Are Most Important To You In A Future Mate

We all have preferences – or maybe others would refer to them as standards – on whom we want to spend the rest of our lives with. I, myself would want to refer to them too as standards. Attitudes or characteristics that I would want him [my future mate] to possess. You may call me idealistic or whatever but I prefer to stick to these characteristics and hoping that one day, someday, God will allow our paths to cross and I would be checking these characteristics on my checklist. I am hoping against all hopes, though how idealistic it may seem that someone out there still exists bearing these so-called standards. Continue reading “Day 8 : Five Things That Are Most Important To You In A Future Mate”

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 7: Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

foriknowtheplans_Web_1024x1024Hello there! This is Day 7 of The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge and I must admit, this challenge is way more difficult than what I have expected. There were times in the past seven days that I would just lie on my bed, stare at the ceiling of my room, pondering and contemplating about the topic of the day. And each topic is equally challenging and though-provoking that sometimes, well often than not, I would find myself thinking about skipping one or more of the topics. Continue reading “Day 7: Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point”

Posted in Food for Thoughts

Day 6 : Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

I would be talking more of about myself and my love life here. I am in no position to be speaking for the general populace for I am not an expert on relationships. But I would still say that our own choice plays a huge factor and has a major role in the status of our love life. More often than not, it’s the choice that we make that determine the course of our lives.

The choices we make, or rather, our ability to make choices, to decide, the freewill, freedom, among other things is a determining factor on how you want your life to be, and your love life per se. I know for myself that where I am right, and how my love life is at this very moment is part of the choices I made in the past. So it would be right to say that part of me wanted this. I mean, I have questions and what ifs and could have’s but then at that point in my life when I made that certain decision that leads me to where I am now, I would definitely say that that was what I want. Continue reading “Day 6 : Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants””